My Fictitious Christmas Letter

Dear Family,

You may recall that Eddie and I have been married for over 8 years now. You may also remember that I did not change my name when I got married. I realize that in your busy lives this is a trivial matter, but I would think that those of you who made a scene about it at my wedding rehearsal in front of the priest would still recollect that precious moment. For those of you not at the wedding, perhaps you may have noticed our separate names on all of the checks, birthday cards, Christmas cards, and other correspondence we've sent over the years.

Trust me, I understand how you are all busy with your own lives and this minor point may have slipped your attention. However, I also know that you all keep address books with our address and phone number. You are very diligent about keeping track of name changes when someone new marries into the family, when new babies are born, or when folks have remarried. Some of you keep extensive lists of multiple marriages, names of various children and stepchildren, dates of weddings, divorces, etc. And yet, somehow my last name has never been included on these lists. For the family that I married into, I suppose this is just an oversight. For my relatives, I would think that you would still remember the name that I have had all of my life.

Let's just be honest here. You don't approve of a woman who does not take her husband's last name so you simply ignore her brashness. If you continue to call her "Mrs. Edward A." then maybe someday she'll get it through her thick skull that she should not only adopt his last name, but his first name too. Just a little adult peer pressure mixed in with the holiday cheer.

That is never, ever going to happen, so can we please stop this charade? I'm not asking you to agree with my choice, but it would be a nice Christmas gift if you would simply accept, and dare I say respect, my decision as an adult to choose my own name. It may be radical, inappropriate, or disrespectful in your eyes, but it is afterall my decision. I do not impose my beliefs on you. Can you imagine if I mailed all of my Christmas cards with your maiden names on the envelopes? Oi, the scandal! All I'm asking is that you pay me the same courtesy.

Love mixed with a little attitude,
DR. JANET P. STAMATEL (not Mrs. Janet A., nor Mrs. Edward A., nor even Mrs. S.)


It's probably a good thing that I mailed my Christmas cards out before receiving many this year or else I would have been tempted to misbehave.

Detroit -- A Must-See Destination?!?

So says the NYTimes. For the record, I love the travel section of the NYTimes because of its good writing, great global coverage, and a knack for going off the beaten path. Imagine my excitement when I saw the list of "53 Places to Go in 2008." I love these kinds of lists because they get met excited about traveling and I find exotic places to put on my personal "must-see" list.

The list starts off great -- Laos, Tunisia, Hvar, Prague (one of my favorite places in the world), ... and so on. And then at #40 I see Detroit. Wait. What? Back up. Yup, it really says Detroit. So now I have to read the blurb, anxious to see what new developments have so radically transformed my hometown. The answer is apparently --hotels. Really? The hotels in Detroit are so great that it makes it to the must-see list?!?!? Granted I haven't stayed at the hotels they mentioned, the new ones associated with the casinos, but I cannot possibly imagine that they would be soooo fantastic. And why would you travel somewhere just for the hotels??? The article also mentions the newly renovated Detroit Institute of Arts, which has always been one of my favorite places to see in the city, but I'm not sure that would even qualify it for a list of the best places in the world to go in 2008.

I tried very hard to be a supporter of Detroit when I lived there and even now I can certainly come up with some great things about the area. None of them, however, could compete with a place like Prague. Not to mention all of the horrible, depressing aspects of the city that you inevitably experience ... unless, of course, you never leave your hotel room.

This Just Gets My Goat

It's bad enough that we're surrounded by the wanton consumerism of the holiday season, but this article about "baby mama gifts" just irritates me beyond belief.* The idea is that husbands have to show appreciation for the pains of their wives' labor through expensive gifts, preferably jewelry. While there's no doubt that women have the unfair share of duties with respect to pregnancy, labor, and childrearing, a pair of diamond earrings does not make things even. All it does is assuage the husband's guilt and show the world what a great guy HE is, thereby taking attention away from both the baby and the new mother. If you really want to thank your partner for bringing your children into the world, then why not help with the process and do your fair share of the work!!!!

*I'm kind of on a kick now about looking up the etimology of odd sayings like "get my goat."

Just Random Stuff

• I was on call for jury duty this week and I have just been released without having gone to court at all. I was strangely relieved even though in principle I have no objections to serving on a jury. I think I was just bothered by the idea of being on call and not knowing when I'd have to cancel my plans to go to court, especially since this was the last week of classes and not the most convenient time for me to be away from work.
  
• I found a new critique of PowerPoint presentations that really tickled me. I blogged about it on my professional web site, but I like it enough to share it here as well. It's called Death by PowerPoint.
  
• I think I finally get Facebook. I didn't have trouble figuring out how to use it, I just didn't get why people were using it. But I've been experimenting with it for a while and now I understand the appeal. Once you get past the "Pimps and Hoes" group invitations, it's a neat tool for building community, even for those of us who are no longer in our 20s. I still find MySpace incredibly annoying, but Eddie has been trying to figure it out. So now you know where else you can find us on the net.
  
• I love clementines. (A completely unnecessary piece of information that I just felt compelled to share.)