Kids Say the Darndest Things

How can I visit my niece and not write about her latest insights on the world? Now that she's 6 we've moved to more logical and nuanced conversations. It's pretty interesting. My favorite snippets from last weekend:

Ciocia: Abby, I have to go to a conference for work for a few hours and then we can play later this afternoon. Do you know what a conference is?
Abby (in her best "answering a question by the teacher" voice): A conference is when the professors get together in a big room and talk about their students -- which ones were good and which were bad.
Abby (as I'm leaving for the conference): I sure hope all of your students are good.
Cicocia: Me too!
(They weren't, but they also weren't my students!)

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As I'm getting ready to head back home, my suitcase is near the door next to her backpack. She tries to pick up the suitcase, but can't.

Abby: Ciocia, I know why your suitcase it so heavy?
Ciocia: Oh yeah? Why's that?
Abby: Because it's filled with all of your tears from missing me so much!

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Abby's struggling with being a good sport while playing competitive games, like the Wii. We had a tough love conversation about being a gracious winner and loser, which she was resisting with all her might. After a series of "whys" after all of my words of wisdom, I ran out of answers and said:

Ciocia: Because it will make you a better person.
Abby (with pouty cheeks and tears): But I don't want to be a better person!!
(At which point I had to give up because I started laughing.)