Unrealistic Expectations

Since I stayed home yesterday because I was sick (yet again ...), I didn't register the first day of August. Today, however, as I dragged myself to the office, I immediately set off alarm bells in my head when I looked at my calendar and realized it was now August 2. AUGUST -- the end of summer is practically here! But it can't be ... I have soooo much more to do before fall semester.

To set the record straight for my non-academic friends, professors do not spend the summers "off" with lavish vacations and great novels. Most professors, especially the untenured assistant professors like myself, use the time to do research and publish papers with the hope of someday getting tenure. So I started the summer with an incredible list of all of the things that I was going to do with three whole months "off."

Everything seemed possible at the beginning of June, but I just revisited the list realizing that I'd be lucky to get half of the things done. HALF! For an overachiever like myself, this is quite depressing. I spent this morning mulling over the list trying to figure out what went wrong. Despite the ongoing health issues this summer, I thought I was pretty productive. I was at the office regularly, even came in on a few Saturdays, worked many evenings from home ... and yet only HALF the list is the best that I can hope to achieve this summer.

I am consoling myself with the idea that my expectations were too high to begin with. Being new at this job, I overestimated how quickly I could get things done -- especially amorphous things like thinking up great ideas and writing. Maybe I'm just making excuses for myself, but I need some kind of rationale to keep myself from becoming too depressed to continue working on the list. With that said, a half-finished journal article is awaiting my attention ...