This Is a Lot of Work ...

for a little nipple action:

http://blogs.usatoday.com/entertainment/2009/02/beyonce-had-war.html

Really, people, get a grip!

I Am NOT ....

Your mother. Your high school English teacher. Your inspirational speaker/motivational coach/personal cheerleader. Your therapist.

I was one click away from posting this as a tag line in my email signature file, but an ounce of rationality beat out the flood of frustration in my brain and so I am posting it here instead. And, noooooo, it is NOT directed toward students. At least with students you can explain to them that professor does not mean any of the above roles. After a year of "collaborative" projects, I am going to gladly return to my hermit working mode this summer. (That is, if I survive until then without committing academic suicide.)

Second Rate

I do a lot of Xmas shopping at Borders and the biggest drawback is avoiding the impulse buy. Well, I never actually avoid it, but I do try to keep it at a minimum. The impulse buy is always something for me, which is not the point of Xmas shopping, so I already feel guilty about that. It is also truly an impulse buy -- the type of thing I wouldn't normally buy myself on a planned trip to Borders.

This year's impulse buy was particularly bad. Borders had a huge display for the Twilight series. I'd been thinking of reading the first book just to stay in the cultural loop and to keep up with the tweens in the family, but instead I bought the entire four-book series. Book 1 was entertaining. I could certainly see the appeal for the young-uns, but it was also interesting enough to get me through the whole thing. Well, it was a downhill slope after that. Of course, since I bought the series I am forcing myself to read the whole thing. I finished book 3 in Croatia with the help of two 10-hour flights. I have been reading book 4 for a month now -- a month! I have about 100 pages left and it is almost torture to finish it. I refuse to let it go because this is obviously punishment for the impulse buy.

Aside from my stupid decision to buy the entire series, I'm even more annoyed by the comparisons between this author, Stephanie Meyers, and J.K. Rowling. Meyers has sold a gazillion copies of these books (thanks, in part, to me) so she's being hailed as the new queen of tweens. But the comparison is so unfair! Sales aside, Meyers isn't nearly the accomplished writer that Rowling is. Her character development is weak. Her plot development is trite. And, frankly, much of her writing is boring. Most irritating is the fact that I feel very "old" reading Twilight. Aside from the first Harry Potter book, I didn't feel that way reading the rest of that series. One of Rowling's gifts is her ability to write a series for children and tweens that can also be enjoyed by adults. There are layers to her stories and complexity in her writing that make her books hard to put down. With Meyers, I can't wait to be done with them! Speaking of which, after reading my rave review, if you'd like my books let me know and I'll be happy to send them along to you.

Sorry Just Isn't Enough

I was going to write a post about the Superbowl last week that explained why I couldn't get too excited about it. I'm a huge football fan, but professional football has become so obnoxious that I really just prefer to watch the college games. Considering the amount of money the players make and the esteem awarded them, pro football players are incredibly arrogant, unsportsmanlike, non-athletic, and occasionally downright stupid (e.g., unlocked-gun-in-the sweatpants kind of stupid). Then I got too depressed about how these idiots were ruining a great sport to actually write the post.

And now, stupidity and arrogance are ruining another great American sport. First of all, is anyone really surpirsed that A-Rod used(s) steroids? Find me a great pro baseball player who hasn't. Second, when are we going to force these overpaid, spoiled brats to actually be accountable for their actions? A-Rod's public apology was certainly a better way to handle the scandal than Bonds did, but it's just not enough. It's not simply a matter of bad decision-making. These guys are ruining a great sport and an even greater American tradition. When are we going to say enough?! The fans need to start demanding tougher sanctions against these guys, and some sacrifice in short-term entertainment, if anything is going to change. Stop buying the fan crap. Stop attending games. Stop watching them on tv. Just stop supporting a sport that has treated its fans so poorly until things really start to change.