Highs and Lows

Today I experienced one of my best experiences as a professor and also one of my worst. The best came from teaching. We're in the third week of classes now and I am enjoying it more than ever. I've always liked it, but at the same time it has been a source of great stress. Being an adjunct and then a new professor has meant that teaching was an incredible amount of work and a major source of anxiety in my life. (If I'm spending 40 hours a week prepping classes, how am I supposed to get any research done? Am I even competent to teach this material? Are they really learning anything? Am I boring them to tears? And so on ...) So far this semester I've felt very differently about teaching. There's less work because I'm repeating material that I've taught before. There's less stress because I'm more comfortable with the students here and know what to expect from them. Plus I've had enough positive evaluations to boost my confidence. After today's undergraduate class I walked away with the feeling that this is going to be a great semester. I have a great bunch of students, they seem quite interested in the subject, and I love the material. Instead of being exhausted after an hour and a half, I was exhilarated.

Unfortunately that high didn't last long before I had my worst experience so far as a professor. I can't blog about the details, but it was a situation that highlighted all of the downsides of being a female assistant professor. I've been trying to let it go for the past few hours because I have a manuscript to finish up this week, but I haven't been successful. I don't have a support network here that I can vent to like I did at my old job, so I've just been stewing over it. Even a walk in the brisk air blaring Metallica on my ipod didn't help. I'll get over it eventually and I know it won't be the last such incident so I'll have to figure out a better way of dealing with my frustration so that it doesn't affect my productivity. I think it's fair to say that the honeymoon is officially over.

It Should Have Been Called ...

Inconvenient Truth is a great title for something dealing with the topic of global warning. However, it is not an appropriate title for Al Gore's movie by that name. Here are my suggestions for more accurate, though less marketable, titles:

• "I'm not thinking of running for president." (Yes, he is, or at least he was when he did this movie.)
• "Don't pity me about the 2000 elections. I'm not bitter." (Yes, he is.)
• "Really, folks, I'm not as boring as you think I am." (Yes, he is.)
• "I'm just a regular guy." (Yes, he is, if "regular" means privileged white man in America.)

As you may have noticed from the tone of this post, I found the movie disappointing. In 1.5 hours it has about 20 minutes worth of interesting facts, great footage of nature, and good graphics. The rest of the movie is about Al Gore, with a few cheesy cartoons thrown in to make it look like he has a sense of humor. I probably should have read the book instead of watching the movie, but it's too late for that now. We're reading Field Notes from a Catastrophe for the UAlbany campus reading project this year. I'm only on Chapter 2, but so far it's 100 times more interesting than Al Gore.

Here We Go Again

I am so sick of President Bush's use of the D-word. Every time he says it I want to scream. If I were in college, it would be a fun drinking game, but now I'm too old for that nonsense. In his latest usage he proclaimed "I am the decision-maker" with respect to troop levels in Iraq. I really wish his speech writers would remember other important D-words, like democracy, diplomacy, or decency. If that phrase were to come out of the mouths of Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, or Alexander Lukashenko, we'd be using yet another D-word ... dictator.

What a Joke!

We all know that I'm addicted to Diet Coke. It's hardly a secret. I go through phases where I try to kick the addiction, mostly because I don't like the idea of being addicted to anything, especially something unhealthy. About 8 years ago I actually quit cold turkey and that lasted a couple of years. Then I had to get serious about the dissertation and Diet Coke was a godsend during the writing days.

Now I no longer have illusions of quitting all together. I'm trying to focus on moderation instead. I've slowly cut back on the daily intake with lots of little rules (e.g., no Diet Coke in the house, no Diet Coke after 6p.m., etc.). Then I changed the bottle sizes -- from a 24 oz. fountain drink, to a 20 oz. bottle, to a 12 oz. can ... and then the 8 oz. baby can. The stubby little baby cans are so cute that surely they would distract me from the fact that there's virtually nothing in them. Wrong! So wrong! Nothing makes me want Diet Coke more than one of those 8 oz. cans. They're just teasing me!

On the Spot

Corey has challenged me to post five things about myself that most people would not know. I'm feeling a little pressure here to be creative, but I'll do my best.

1.) I have never liked my middle name (Phyllis) because when I was a child my sister very cruelly led me to believe that I would grow up to be like Phyllis Diller. Although she's a talented comedian, this was a scary prospect for a four-year-old.

2.) My parents weren't very hip to technology, so when I was 16 I saved money from one of my early jobs (as a pharmacy technician) to buy the family's first VCR. It cost me $400 and, thankfully, it was VHS and not Beta. We actually still have it in our basement.

3.) If I didn't have such a severe motion sickness problem, I would have been an astronaut rather than a sociologist.

4.) Contrary to popular belief, Eddie was not the only guy who wanted to marry me. The first candidate was so distraught by the fact that I didn't love him that he literally had a mild nervous breakdown. (At least, that's what he says. I say he was crazy to begin with.)

5.) My only near-death experience growing up in Detroit was when I thought I was going to be shot in the restroom of the downtown Greyhound bus station. More horrifying than the prospect of actually being shot (or perhaps just beaten to death), was the thought that I might die on the toilet!

Now I can pass on this task to Emily and Holli.

Why Not Hillary?

USA Today ran an article today about why some Democrats are not convinced that Hillary could win the presidency. There is the issue about whether or not America is ready for a female president (or more correctly, for a non-white male), and I think it's a real concern. Although it's sad that this is still an issue in the 21st century, I think it's one that actually influences how people will vote.

That point aside, I found the three other reasons less convincing:
1. she's not warm and fuzzy
2. she supported the war in Iraq
3. the marriage

First of all, while Clinton is not as personable as either Obama or Edwards, why is this even an issue? G.W. Bush is quite affable ... but he's also quite laughable. Haven't we learned some lesson from the past 8 years? I realize that personality hindered Kerry and Gore, and I certainly appreciate Obama's charisma, but in the grand scheme of things this should not be our main focus.

Secondly, who didn't support the war in 2002? (Well, I didn't, but I was not in the majority at that time.) It's incredibly hypocritical of Americans to forget that most of them supported the war as well. I also think the comparisons with Obama on this point are unfair since he wasn't in a position in 2002 to represent his state's constituents on this point. Perhaps he would have voted against it, but we don't really know that. What's more important than the 2002 vote is how to clean up the mess.

Third ... the marriage. This is a tough one for me. I have always suspected that Hillary stuck by her man for political rather than personal reasons and that bothered me. However, her personal life won't affect how I vote. The marriages of the other candidates won't come under the same scrutiny as this one, and they are probably just as dysfunctional. If anything, I think B. Clinton is an asset to her just because of his political experience and savvy.

It's Official

Another historic moment for women in politics -- Hillary has made her campaign official. While I still have mixed feelings about her, I am happy that she is running. Regardless of the outcome of the 2008 election, she will have permanently changed the political landscape in America and opened up many opportunities for other women. I've had some doubts about whether she could actually win the presidency if she got the nomination, but at this point I'm inclined to think that the attempt alone will be worth the effort. Aside from the gender issue, her political credentials are impressive so I'm starting to feel more comfortable about her chances.

Decision Making

I am a fan of decisiveness because I'm uncomfortable with ambiguity, muddling, and denial. I particularly respect people who can make necessary but unpopular decisions. However, I would just like to clarify that being able to make a decision is not the same as being able to make a good decision. I also don't think that "doing as daddy's friends say" qualifies as making a decision. Less than two years left ... (sigh)

Semblance of Normalcy

Well, I've moved back into my office at work and I couldn't be happier. Normally two days of unpacking boxes and organizing papers would be tedious, but I was really looking forward to it. I needed my work space back and it was nice to get organized again. Things are about 90% in order. My desktop is up and running and the little things that make work easier are back in place -- like my coveted slinky. I still have a few more things to get in order, such as my new dual monitor, but I'm now officially back to work and looking forward to my first class tomorrow.

For the Sake of Research

One of our students is collecting data about how people use the Internet through an online survey. Anyone who is willing and interested can participate in the survey and it is completely anonymous. Since many of you who read this blog have an appreciation for social science research, I thought I'd post the link and encourage you to fill out the survey.

(For you die-hard methodologists, yes, this is a convenience sample and the student is well aware of the limitations of this kind of methodology.)

Working from Home

Our offices are being renovated during the intersession so I'm spending a lot of time at home, struggling to get work done. I typically work at home in the evenings during the semester reading or grading, but I get most of my serious work done at the office. The atmosphere at home just isn't right for research and writing. This is a typical scenario of working from home, with the cat perched on me sending a chill vibe. I found some comfort in the fact that I'm not the only academic with this problem.

Speaking of Geeks

My favorite reality show is back -- Beauty and the Geek! I can't get enough of this show. It simply amuses me to no end. I have to admit that the beginning of each season freaks me out a little. The introduction of the geeks pretty much sums up the dating scene at the University of Chicago. Really ... I am not exaggerating. Once I get past the horrible flashbacks, then I can get into the show. The last two seasons have been surprisingly sweet, instead of the typical mean-spiritedness of many reality shows. And the things that are said on the show just astound me. My favorite part of the season premiere was the discussion of what "booty" meant. At least three of the geeks only knew the term to mean "pirate's bounty." Uh ... yeah ... that's what they came up with even when it was phrased "booty call." Priceless!

The Geek

Okay, so it's 3 in the morning, I can't sleep, and I'm bored silly. I'm surfing the web and several blogs I read have various "test results" posted on them. So I decide to check them out for myself. I couldn't resist the Neurotic Test . According to this less-than-scientific instrument, I am a geek. Huh? Go figure. Did the Ph.D. give it away?!? Good thing I didn't pay money for that one.

At least I was amused by some of the questions, like these:

Do yes and no ever just mean yes and no? YES, they really do.

The boss comes in to the office where you and several of your fellows are chatting. They look angry. What thought goes through your mind?"

• Oh boy, someone's gonna get it. I'm glad it's not me.
• Oh boy, someone's gonna get it! I can't wait to see this. (Where's the webcam when you need it?!)
• Oh no, did I do something? What could I have done?
• I'm already apologizing.

One Small Step for Humankind

I've been a little behind on news-watching lately, but I couldn't let the recent historical Congressional event pass without comment. In some ways it seems odd that the first female Speaker of the House was elected in 2007, which is 230 years after the founding of our "free" nation and 90 years after women first began serving in Congress. For a country that has gained global dominance over the last century, we certainly are behind the times in many ways. According to About.com, there have been 49 female presidents or prime ministers in the world since 1960, many in countries that we consider inferior to the U.S. economically and culturally.

In some ways Pelosi's moment is probably greater than that of Clinton's potential run for president. First of all, Pelosi is generally a less controversial figure than Clinton. Secondly, this moment in history will soon be overshadowed by Congressional politics, so that Pelosi has a real opportunity to be an effective leader, as opposed to a poster girl for women's rights. If Clinton were to win the presidency, I don't think she would have the same fortune. Nonetheless, at least the topic is on the table and people are talking about it. This is bound to be an interesting year for politics.

Adoration

For both trips to Michigan last month we took our two dogs with us, because of the convenience and the sheer fact that my niece adores them. She has two little daschunds of her own, but for some reason she is obsessed with our big dogs. She loves to hug them, play with them, and, as you can see, nap with them. She passed up on many fun activities Christmas week (including bowling with her cousins, seeing Happy Feet and Charlotte's Web, and going to Chuck E. Cheese's) because she preferred to stay home with the dogs. She said she didn't want them to be lonely.

We're happy that our dogs are great around kids. They are incredibly patient and kind, even though we can tell they sometimes get a little tired of being "toys." The cat doesn't make these trips because my sister is allergic to her and, even though she doesn't know it, she's better off not going. Unlike the dogs, she is not a fan of little kids and she runs at the sight of them.

Santa Baby

True confessions -- I'm in love with Santa. This was one of the highlights of Christmas this year (and every year, to tell the truth). Santa's a big hit in our family, and not just among the kids.

The Last Week

There were many things to blog about as we spent the holiday week in Michigan, but unfortunately most of my thoughts would be inappropriate to share publicly. Consider Munch's The Scream as a visual representation of the week.

Now we're back in Albany, trying to get settled back into some kind of routine. My office at work is being renovated during the intersession, so I'm feeling a little displaced and struggling to get back into a working mode. I have a bunch of pressing deadlines quickly approaching, so I'll have to figure out something soon.

The New Year came and went without fanfare in our household. Neither of us was in a mood to celebrate and we made no grand resolutions or predictions for the upcoming year. If I could wish for one thing this year, it would be a substantial snowfall this month. This 40-degree January is starting to freak me out and it's contributing to my overall sense of discombobulation this month.